Another Christi Scrapbook Page
This was the next scrapbook page in Christi's series of "Being Diagnosed with Cancer" back when she was five. I'll never forget that Sunday night either. Shayne carried her out to her car seat and stayed back with Shayla. As I approached a stoplight Christi told me to go through it. (Typically, she played the "stoplight" game at that age. It went something like red lights were -2 points, yellow lights were +1, etc. When we would arrive at our destination, she'd tell me our score.) That night, she couldn't breathe and when she told me to run the stoplight I knew she was scared and in pain. Although I tried so hard for so long not to show it, so was her mom. Although Shayne and I now differ on the very end of Christi's life and if we should have told her she was dying or not, we are both very glad we kept things upbeat and positive for this little one for so long, while we hid our own pain, heartbreak and suffering from her. She would have felt bad, as if she had caused us to be sad and I never wanted her to feel that any of our misfortunes were her fault. They were not.