I most likely shouldn't post this since I did not ask the 16 year old author for permission. Her beautiful mother, my friend, mailed a copy of what appears to be a journal entry and I thought it was incredibly sweet and thoughtful. Is the reason I'm not asking for permission because I do not want to stir up or bring up sad memories for others?
Sunday, May 14, 2006: After Christi’s party last night, my heart was nearly breaking in two. It hurts me inside to think of such a perfect, beautiful young girl. The cancer has spread throughout her entire body. Could you even imagine? Not having the chance to grow up, and drive a car, date boys, be silly with your girl friends, play in the park with your dad, get nervous about tests…anything? It’s unfathomable.
I watched last night as Christi sat down with her plate of snacks and closed her eyes to pray over the couple carrots sticks, cake and ice cream. From my seat, I felt like the world slowed. Everyone else was rushing around and laughing and I was sitting and watching her. She prayed quietly, her lips moving to herself, then put her head up and cracked a joke with one of her friends. I just stared for a moment. I don’t understand sometimes why life is so unfair to those who deserve most to live life to the fullest. Do they really deserve to be punished by God? Or does he have a bigger reason for their lives? I just can’t even begin to ponder about it. She’s so beautiful and my eyes burn at the thought. Why her? Christi blessed her mother’s life so. I know Angela counts every day with her daughter a blessing.